Dawn
by girleffect
Summary: Perhaps you've been living in twighlight all this time/ Tony, Ziva, one very special little girl
1. Chapter 1

**New story, folks. I have never been more proud, or invested this much time in something I have written. I love it. I hope you do too. I owe Mechabeira a huge thank you- you edited and supported and encouraged me to make this something more than I thought I was prepared to give. So thank you. Enjoy, everyone. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. Leave a review on your way out. xoxoxo**

Chapter 1

_You're not gonna lose this one._

_You don't have to cut and run._

_You can learn to love and what's more—_

_That is how you survived the war."_

_-The Weepies, "How You Survived the War."_

Sophie leaned her head against the cool glass of the car and watched the fluffy clouds float in the sky above. The one closest to her looked like a princess castle, and she reached out with tentative hands to press a finger against the glass. Ms. Andrea was driving and talking on her cell phone. They were going to her new house with a new family. Ms. Andrea had to leave her there because she had other appointments.

Sophie sucked her thumb hard to try and make her fast breathing get normal again. Going to new houses was scary. Scary and lonely and loud and not nice. Ms. Andrea had promised her that this family was nice, but she'd promised that last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, so Sophie didn't really believe her promises anymore.

"We're here!" Ms. Andrea called, making her jump a little. The house was pretty and painted yellow, and there were lots of flowers around the porch steps. A woman and a man stood on the porch, arms around each other, smiling nervously. They looked nice. It was probably a trick.

She grabbed her pink backpack with her teddy bear and a change of clothes inside. Ms. Andrea pulled her along by the hand. When they reached the steps, Sophie took a deep breath.

"Sophie, this is Tony and Ziva."

"Hello, sweetheart," the pretty woman named Ziva said quietly, and pulled her in for a soft hug. She smelled sweet and warm. When she pulled away, the man hugged her as well. He had big strong arms and looked a little bit like a prince.

Ms. Andrea nudged her, so she took a deep breath and tried to talk.

"Hi," she squeaked, her heart beating in her throat. She felt hot and cold all at once, and suddenly her backpack was too heavy. Her old t-shirt itched.

"Would you like to see your room?" Ziva offered, holding out a hand.

Sophie took it to be polite, just like Ms. Andrea told her. They walked past a comfy living room and up some stairs that looked like the ones Mr. Parker pushed her down. She would have to be careful when they got angry.

Ziva opened the door to her room, and Sophie opened and closed her mouth in surprise. It was painted light blue, and had a big girl bed with a rainbow colored quilt spread over it. The widows were big and she could see a play set in the backyard.

"What do you think?" Ziva asked.

Sophie couldn't find the words, so she just nodded and smiled a little.

Ziva smiled back. "I am glad you like it."

They went back downstairs, where Tony was signing some papers.

"Okay Sophie, it's time for me to go. I'll be by to check up on you in a few days," Ms. Andrea said. Then she rubbed her arm and kissed her head before walking out the door in her click clack shoes.

As soon as the door closed, Sophie grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and twisted her hand in it. She was scared- the hitting usually started when Ms. Andrea left, or when she said something stupid.

Ziva was really pretty- she had a kind smile and brown hair that was a little curly. She looked pretty enough to be a princess. "What would you like to do?" she asked kindly, peering down into her face.

Was this a trick? Sophie merely shrugged in response.

"A book, maybe?" Ziva decided, and grabbed one from off the shelf.

Tony put a hand on Sophie's back, and she jumped a little. "Lets listen to Ziva read _Where The Wild Things Are;_ it's one of my favorites."

They sat down on the fluffy couch. Sophie sat on the edge so she didn't have to touch them. But she couldn't really see the pictures, so she had to scoot closer, until she was resting her head on Ziva's arm. Sophie pulled back as soon as she realized what she had done, face hot, but Ziva only winked at her and kept reading. Why wasn't she yelling? Sophie scooted away so she they wouldn't have anything to yell about, just in case.

They finished the book and Tony turned to her. "What did you think, kiddo?"

Sophie was confused. Why were there so many quiet questions here? It made her uncomfortable so she looked at her lap. She'd liked the book a lot, and wanted to hear it again, but couldn't say so. She poked at the cover, hoping Ziva would understand.

"Would you like to hear the story again, motek?" She asked. Sophie nodded tentatively after a long minute- she liked that Max's mommy still loved him even after he was bad. Was that what mommies were supposed to be like? Maybe. Maybe she'd find out.

...

"She's perfect." Ziva sighed as she hunkered down under the covers. Tony pulled her close and nodded against her hair. "She is. She's quiet and shy and sweet and absolutely adorable. She's _ours, _Zi. Sophie is _our_ little girl."

"Ours." Ziva mused, trying out the word. It felt right. The pain and frustration of infertility felt like a distant memory. A bad dream she's finally woken up from when she laid eyes on Sophie. Infertility, miscarriages, and shattered dreams had dominated the past few years. Having Sophie in the house felt like she had finally done something right.

They cuddled in comfortable silence until they heard crying coming from Sophie's room. They jumped up and ran in to find her trembling in the middle of the room. Her new ladybug pajama pants were wet, and she was trying to drag her sheets out the door. She squeaked as soon as she saw them enter.

"Shaifeleh, what is wrong?" Ziva cooed, rushing over to her.

Sophie shook her head, sobbing so hard her nose was running.

Tony took the sheet from her and headed into the laundry room. The rhythmic thumping of the washer was calming.

"_N'sicha_, you do not have to cry, " Ziva cooed, pulling a fresh pair of pajamas over Sophie's head. She was so _tiny. _"It was an accident and we are not mad." She pulled her into her lap and dropped a kiss on her curls. Sophie stiffened initially, but calmed as Ziva rocked and shushed her.

Tony crept in with clean sheets and blankets and remade the bed. They deposited her among the pillows, and she woke momentarily before drifting off, thumb loose in her mouth. They watched her quietly for a long time before heading back to their room. Ziva had to steady herself before she could climb into bed. She'd known, logically, that caring for an abused child would be difficult, but she hadn't expected it to twist her heart and steal her breath when telling Sophie she was safe, when holding her close and loving her weren't enough to undo the damage. It would take time- time and energy, both of which Ziva was ready to give.


	2. Chapter 2

**I am overwhelmed and humbled by the response I received for the first chapter. Thank you to all those who read, reviewed, favorited, alerted, whatever. Thank you for giving this a chance. Please keep that supportive momentum up! Love to all. Read, review, and most importantly, enjoy.**

Chapter 2

_"But I'm holding back, that's the strength that I lack._

_Every morning keeps returning at my window. _

_And it brings me to you, _

_And I won't just pass through, _

_But I'm not asking for a storm."_

_First Aid Kit, Emmylou _

Sophie listened as Tony and Ziva talked in quiet voices in the kitchen. They were cleaning up from breakfast- pancakes and strawberries, which were her favorites. It sounded important, and she stopped drawing to take a deep breath. Important things made Sophie nervous- that usually meant that she was going to a new house with new people and long nights and lonely days.

She didn't want to leave Tony and Ziva's. They didn't hit, they didn't yell when she wet the bed or when she cried because she remembered things. They read stories and went to the park, drew pictures with markers. Ziva gave Sophie hugs when she woke up from scary dreams. She liked to watch movies with Tony. They were always doing something fun- clay, blocks, dress up. They were quiet things to do together. Nobody had ever really played with her or did what she wanted to do before.

Were they watching to see if she was really as good as she was pretending to be? Probably, since she was a bad kid. That's why Rachel never picked her up from babysitting at Mrs. Gonzalez's house, or why Mr. Williams hit her or why Mrs. Parker yelled loud in her ear. Being a bad kid meant that Sophie wasn't allowed to have a mommy and a daddy. That's why school was so hard- she didn't like to watch all the other boys and girls get picked up from class by their mommies and daddies, who gave them kisses and oohed and ahhed over their drawings.

Usually Marcy picked Sophie up from kindergarten. Marcy was a big girl who lived with Sophie at Mr. Williams house. She was fifteen years old, which meant she got to wear short skirts and chew bubblegum and do homework from big heavy books. They didn't have pictures like the books she read with Tony and Ziva-only lots of words. Marcy had a boyfriend named Gabe, and sometimes he would come with Marcy to pick her up and ask her how her day was. Marcy pretended not to like Sophie when Gabe was around, but at night when Mr. Williams broke her glasses or made her eat outside, Marcy would give her a hug and let her sleep in her bed.

But Marcy stopped letting Sophie sleep in her bed because Mr. Williams started coming into her room at night. Sophie worried about Marcy all alone in the big lonely house with Mr. Williams and his mean fist.

Marcy was the first person to take care of Sophie like mommies and daddies on TV. She missed Marcy more than she missed Rachel sometimes, which was weird because Rachel was her mommy, but Marcy was nicer to her than Rachel ever was.

Rachel didn't love Sophie- she knew this because she told her so. She called her lots of names and made her eat the spicy red stuff until she threw up or when she asked too many questions about the men or the needles.

Sophie wanted a mommy like the ones she saw on TV, but she also wanted her mommy to love her. Maybe Ziva was like her TV mommy, because she did all the things they did- she brushed Sophie's hair, gave her hugs, read stories. Ziva told her she loved her, but why did Ziva love her and Rachel didn't? When Sophie thought about all these things too much it made her head hurt and she had to curl up in a ball and suck her thumb until the thinking stopped.

Ms. Andrea was coming to visit today. Sophie didn't want her to- when Ms. Andrea visited it meant it was time to grab her backpack and go. She bit her lip and watched the cars drive by. They went super fast- she wondered if when she was bigger she would be able to run that fast. The doorbell rang and she jumped.

"It is alright, _n'sicha_," Ziva soothed, putting a warm hand on her back. "She is just coming to check on you."

Sophie nodded, feeling numb.

Ms. Andrea waved and gave her a big smile. "Hi Sophie! How have you been?"

"Good," she replied. Her heart beat fast like when she was about to get in big trouble for being such a bad kid. She wanted a hug from Ziva.

"Well, I'm just gonna have a look around, and then I'll talk to Tony and Ziva, and then you can get back to playing."

Sophie nodded and sat down stiffly on the couch. Ms. Andrea was looking in the fridge and in the big sunny playroom. She started talking quietly to Tony and Ziva and it got hard to breathe because they were probably asking her if they could still send her away. She felt clumsy and uncomfortable, like her heart was too big for her small body. Sophie wanted her to leave- Ms. Andrea reminded her that she'd never be like a normal kid.

…

"So," Andrea began, "You're licensure has come through. This means you'll start receiving a monthly stipend for Sophie's care. I've heard you're interested in adopting her- is that correct?"

"Yes." Tony answered quickly, grinning as he grabbed Ziva's hand.

"Great." Andrea said, nodding enthusiastically. "I would recommend you have Sophie evaluated by some doctors- a pediatrician, a phychiatrist, perhaps even an educational consultant. She's had some pretty traumatic experiences. I can give you some references in the area, if you'd like."

"I would appreciate that- thank you." Ziva confirmed.

"Good. I'll leave them with you now. I'll begin searching for any extended family- her mother's rights were terminated by the state when she abandoned Sophie two years ago. If nobody comes forward, we can start the finalization process."

"Wow," Ziva breathed, at a loss for words.

Andrea smiled knowingly. "I'll be back in about a month. Don't hesitate to call me if you have any questions." She stood up from the table, smoothing out the wrinkles in her pencil skirt. "Bye Soph! Enjoy the rest of your day!"

Sophie nodded and looked at her her lap, where her hands were clenched in fear. Ziva wondered if she ever be able to forget all the abuse she had suffered. Probably not, she conceded grimly. She clucked her tongue and reached for her. "What is the matter, my sweet girl?" she cooed, rubbing her arm. Sophie shook her head, quiet and sad.

Tony kneeled down so they could see eye to eye. "Ms. Andrea came today so we could talk about adopting you- making you our little girl forever. What do you think about that?"

Sophie's eyes went wide and she opened and closed her mouth a few times before speaking. "Until I have to go?" She questioned.

Ziva smiled and shook her head. "No, _shaifeleh_. Forever means that you will live with us and be our daughter until you a grown up and have your own family. It means that even when you are a grown up, you will still be our daughter."

Sophie furrowed her brows and seemed to mull this over. "Ok." She finally said. Forever sounded better than ok- it sounded safe. Did forever mean that Rachel was never coming back for her? Maybe. Maybe that was ok. Maybe forever with Tony and Ziva was what she wanted.

...

Ziva smiled warmly as Sophie made her way into the kitchen for dinner, her hair wild about her face. "Are you hungry, shaifeleh?" She asked sweetly, and Sophie shrugged. She barely ever said more than a few words a day, and only when it was absolutely necessary. It made her worry about Sophie's future, and about her capabilities as her mother. Should she be doing more? _What_ should she be doing? These were some of the things that kept her awake at night.

Tony put the bowl of salad down next to the platter of spaghetti with meatballs- Sophie seemed to enjoy that. "Ready, kiddo?" He asked, and pulled her chair out for her.

She moved forward, but tripped on a wet spot on the tile floor. Sophie landed on her stomach and her chin hit the floor, sending her teeth into her bottom lip. Her eyes went wide, round, shocked, before she began to cry.

Ziva moved to comfort her but Tony got there first. He took Sophie in his arms and gave her a soft but welcoming hug. "Baby," he cooed, "Can you open your mouth so I can see if you hurt yourself?"

Sophie continued to cry, but let Tony probe open her mouth so he could inspect the cut on the inside of her lip. The bleeding was already slowing, but he took the ice cube Ziva handed him and placed it on the wound anyway. "That should make it better," he whispered softly, rubbing her arm a little.

Ziva marveled at this sweet sight and teared up a bit. She had always known Tony would make an excellent father, but seeing him in action brought an inexplicable feeling of elation and pride. She could already see her as daddy's little girl- she knew Sophie already had Tony wrapped around her little finger without having done much but simply fill the empty void they had been seeking to fill in their house for years.

Sophie wiped at her eyes and yawned, dazed and exhausted from all that crying. Ziva quietly set a plate for both of them- they could eat when they were ready. She twirled her fork around some pasta and smiled as she watched Tony lift Sophie to his hip and sway back and forth, his chin atop her head.

….

Sophie came easily into Tony's lap and sighed sleepily, her thumb reaching her mouth. It was obvious she had difficult sessions with both of her new doctors. She closed her eyes and dozed. Ziva smiled thoughtfully and played with her hair as Dr. Amy Blake and Dr. Leah Stein settled themselves in chairs opposite them.

"Let's get down to business." Dr. Blake started, smiling a little, a pen woven between her long, thin fingers. "Sophie definitely presents some developmental delays, but they are mild. Her fine motor skills and comprehension aren't where I'd expect a four year olds to be, but I am confident that with some hard work and support, she can catch up to her peers. Her eyesight is also bad-she's very nearsighted. I want to give her another prescription for glasses- the old ones were not strong enough. But she's a great kid- so sweet!"

Dr. Stein nodded and jumped in. "Sophie is such a cutie pie, but I've noted some things from my evaluation today and from her file. She seems to have some anxiety and depression issues, which are common for children who have experienced trauma like she has. Furthermore, I can say that Sophie has Selective Mutism- an anxiety based disorder that prevents her from talking to most people. She is literally scared speechless. With some intensive therapy and lots of love, I am confident she can move past it. There is a fantastic program at the Child Mind Institute in New York City for children just like Sophie. They have week long sessions a few times a year where they have almost a school setting, but combined with field trips and special activities to get them talking. It's had amazing results. If her social worker agrees, you should start applying for the summer session- spaces fill up quickly."

Tony and Ziva nodded numbly, a little shocked.

Both doctors smiled kindly, knowingly. "It's a lot, we understand," Dr. Stein added.

Dr. Blake nodded. "Also, we have agreed that putting Sophie back in her old kindergarten classroom is not the best idea. She is on the younger side of the class, and coupled with her delays and her SM, we think it would set her back. We agree that it would be best to keep her home with you for now so she doesn't experience attachment issues in the future. We've also added a prescription for Paxil to manage her anxiety."

"Remember, keeping a schedule is important for this transition. Meals should be at the same time and same place every day. Food should be healthy but not terribly exciting. Bed and bath time should be at the same time and same place. "And she'll want to do the same things over and over again as she learns that she's safe and loved," Dr. Stein added softly, placing a hand on Sophie's back. Sophie simply watched her, calm and quiet.

"I think Sophie would benefit from twice weekly sessions with me. From her file and her SM, it's obvious we have a lot to work through. Right, honey?" Sophie quirked an odd smile at her but closed her eyes.

Tony and Ziva nodded, standing to shake both doctors hands. "We'll be in touch." He agreed, hoisting a dozing Sophie higher on his hip. Her hand curled possessively around his collar as she dropped off into a deep sleep.

...

Ziva padded down the stairs and plopped down next to Tony, who had his laptop open on his lap, a forgotten beer warming on the coffee table.

"Is she asleep?" He asked, not looking up from the screen. He was unshaven, a little grizzled with worry.

"Yes." She answered softly, cuddling up close to him so she could see what he was reading. "We read _Olivia _twice- I think it is quickly becoming a favorite." She squinted. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged, almost sheepishly. "Researching Selective Mutism, and that program the doctors recommended. Do you know its 2,500 dollars for a week long session?"

Ziva whistled through her teeth. "But it will be worth it, and the state will likely help with the cost."  
"Yeah." He conceded. "The head doctor is one of the best in his field."

She hummed, reading over his shoulder. The website talked about social anxiety and exposure methods. She felt slightly nauseated as she imagined Sophie being abused into such silence, and swallowed hard.

"I can't imagine what she went through." Tony whispered, running a hand over his face.

Ziva grimaced. "I can," she admitted.

"I'm sorry you know what that feels like," he whispered, pulling her close.

"Don't be," she evaded. "Lets just… move on. As a family."


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, I am awed by your responses. Thank you doesn't seem like enough. I love you all and truly appreciate your love and support. I hope you love this chapter like I do. Trigger warning for the italicized beginning. Just saying. Love to all. Keep up your good work and I'll keep up mine. Xooxoxo **

Chapter 3

_"In the flickering light we were laughing._

_Necessity conquers fear._

_Don't lose yourself_

_Don't let yourself be lost" _

_Laura Veirs, Don't Lose Yourself_

_Sophie wondered if maybe she was dreaming until the plate hit the ground and shattered into a million billion tiny pieces. She felt her face get hot and looked up at Mr. Williams, whose eyes flashed. He stood all the way up tall like he was a giant. She didn't like it when he stood tall like that- it meant she was 'in big fucking trouble', which she knew was a bad word. Bad words meant bad things. _

_"I'm sorry!" She whispered, and bent down to pick up the pieces. Maybe if she cleaned it up fast enough he wouldn't notice, and then she could go back to her room and watch Marcy paint her nails black. _

_But Mr. Williams noticed. He grabbed her arm hard and threw her against the fridge. Sophie wasn't allowed to look in the fridge- she had to eat her dinner outside with the dog. _

_Mr. Williams grabbed her shoulders and put his mouth next to her ear. Sophie flinched and closed her eyes. Too close. "Look at the mess you made!" He yelled, and Sophie opened her eyes. She saw a plate in tiny pieces. It looked like how her heart felt when mommy braided her hair and then left forever. _

"_You're a useless piece of shit," he breathed in her ear. _

_Sophie flinched. She thought about Marcy and her black nails and her own stupid stupid mistakes. The mistakes that made mommy leave and Mr. Williams yell too loud in her ear. She closed her eyes again. Maybe if she couldn't see it would stop being real. _

_"Open your eyes!" He demanded, back handing her. Sophie startled. Her lip quivered when she saw the bottle of hot sauce in his big, meaty hand. No. _

_"I'm sorry!" She cried, but he just hit her again and handed her the red bottle. She wondered what the letters said. _

_"You know what to do," he said, lighting a cigarette and sitting back in his chair. _

_Sophie could feel her stomach getting sick already. She didn't want to drink it but if she didn't Mr. Williams was going force her and she didn't like it when he pushed her head all the way back and held her nose so she had to swallow. She brought the top to her mouth and thought about how Marcy would help her fall asleep. How she would rub her back while she threw up and how she would make space for Sophie in her tiny bed and pull her close. _

_As soon as she started drinking it felt like she was on fire inside and threw up all over the kitchen floor and then Mr. Williams was screaming about messes and being unlovable and stupid and soon he was holding her head back and she drank the whole bottle. He kicked her while she threw up and threw up. She was screaming and screaming then, and then someone was shushing her and pulling her hair away from her face with soft, warm hands, and ema was calling her name, which was weird because she didn't have an ema at Mr. Williams house. _

….

Tony and Ziva startled awake at the same time as a terrified, high-pitched cry made its way across the monitor. Ziva rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and rushed into Sophie's room, Tony hot on her heels.  
Sophie was still in the throes of a nightmare, that terrifying state Ziva knew all too well. She arched her back and screamed again, hands over her face as if she were shielding herself from something, or someone. Ziva rushed to the bedside and turned Sophie onto her side so that she could vomit into the puke bowl Tony had placed on the floor.

"Shaifeleh," She cooed, stroking her hair and face. "It is just a bad dream. You need to wake up, my baby." Tony rubbed her back. "C'mon Soph, wake up. Its ema and Daddy and you're safe."

"No no." She murmured, but opened her fever bright eyes anyway before vomiting into the basin. Ziva held her hair back. Sophie trembled and hiccupped and looked them warily in the eye.

"Sophie," she began firmly. "Do you know where you are?"  
She nodded miserably and reached for Ziva. Her skin was burning hot to the touch, and she was sticky with sweat.

"I'll get the thermometer." Tony supplied, eyes wide and wet. Sophie buried her face in the crook of Ziva's neck and held on tight. "You are safe, shaifeleh. It was just a bad dream." Ziva swayed while Sophie trembled and moaned, half sick and half afraid. "You're safe".

….

Hours later, Ziva jabbed the end button on the house phone with nervous fingers and walked back to the living room where Tony was pacing with Sophie in his arms, who was moaning and sniffling around her thumb. Her eyes were still bright with fever and puffy from crying for so long.

"I left messages for both Dr. Blake and Dr. Stein, and spoke to Ducky. He said that if she's still vomiting and can't keep anything down by the afternoon we need to take her to the emergency room so she doesn't get too dehydrated."

Tony nodded and kissed Sophie's hot little head. "Sounds like a plan." He whispered, just as Sophie began to buck. Her face went deathly pale and she heaved bile onto the floor.

"My poor shaifeleh." Ziva cooed. "Put her down in our bed while I clean this up."

Tony turned away and Ziva mopped up the mess. When she finished, she wet a cool compress at the kitchen sink and brought it to her daughter, who was curled on her side, heaving into a faded pink basin. It had belonged to Gibbs, originally, and she'd used it in the days following Somalia when it seemed all she could do was sleep and vomit and have brutal nightmares. He'd sat by her side and rocked her to sleep and rubbed her back while she was uncontrollably ill.

She shook off the memories and curled next to her daughter on the mattress. Sophie was hot and sweaty through her favorite ladybug pajamas. They'd need to be washed as soon as they could convince her to switch to a different pair.

"Motek," she whispered as she cleaned her face. Tears and sweat mixed. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

Sophie took and deep, shuddering breath and toyed with the sleeve of Ziva's ratty sweatshirt. "Marcy," she muttered, eyes unfocused.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other, confused.

"Who's Marcy, sweet pea?" Tony asked.

Sophie didn't answer, only sniffled. She was asleep in minutes; her long lashes casting a shadow on her face.

They tiptoed out of the room and into the kitchen. Ziva started making coffee, but paused before she measured out the beans. "She's mentioned Marcy before," she mused. "In therapy."

"That her mom's name?" Tony asked, popping two English muffins in the toaster. They were hungry.

"No, her mother's name was Rachel… If she won't tell us maybe I should contact Andrea, find out who she is. She seems to miss her."

Tony nodded. "But not until this virus passes- we've got our hands full."

...

The emergency room at George Washington was crowded. Crowded and loud. Sophie didn't even seem to notice- she was too tired to do more than gaze around the room with dull eyes at half-mast. Ziva was glad Dr. Blake had called ahead. They were expecting them, and a young, perky nurse in pink scrubs led them to a small room with a curtain and handed them a set of forms they needed to fill out.

"I'm Lila. What seems to be the problem?" She asked, pulling a pen out of her scrub top pocket and turning to a fresh chart.

"She's been vomiting almost non stop since four this morning. She can't keep fluids down, and her fever's pretty high and hasn't gone down." Tony reported.

Lila nodded and stuck a thermometer in Sophie's ear. 103.7. She clucked her tongue and continued her brief exam before nodding and making some notes. "Dr. O'Connor will be in in a moment to set Sophie up with IV fluids. She'll be out of here in a few hours." Ziva nodded thankfully. She continued to stoke Sophie's hair, as she lay listless and pale on the exam table.

A handsome young doctor with bags under his eyes whisked the curtain aside with no fanfare. He barely glanced at Sophie. Lila was behind him holding two bags of clear fluid.

"I'm Dr. O'Connor. Your daughter –"

"Sophie. Her name is Sophie." Tony interjected, nostrils flaring.

Dr. O'Connor went slightly pink but recovered quickly. "_Sophie_ is severely dehydrated and needs IV fluids- basically, water with a little bit of sugar. We'll set it up and then you'll have to keep her still for a few hours. Nurse Lila can get you a movie or some books to help with that.

Tony and Ziva nodded at the doctor. Ziva pulled Sophie onto her lap so the Doctor had a better angle to set up the IV. Sophie took one look at the needle and started to scream. She buried her head and arms in Ziva's chest, her back stiff with fear.

"Shaifeleh, you have nothing to be afraid of. You need to give the doctor your arm so that you can feel better." Ziva cooed, but Sophie held on tighter.

Nurse Lila took Sophie's right arm and tied a tourniquet around it.  
"Try and keep her still." She said to Ziva, and held Sophie's arm in place so the IV could be set up. Sophie moaned and cried even after the needle was in.

"I'll be back in a few hours to check on her." Dr. O'Connor said, and headed out the door. Lila smiled kindly and made some notes on the chart.

"Sophie will be fine. She's in good hands. If you need anything, just press that button."

Tony grunted his thanks. Ziva leaned her head on his shoulder. They both fell silent and watched as Sophie closed her puffy red eyes and sniffled. She was shaking a little, and Tony placed a tender kiss to her brow.

"You're ok, baby. We're not going anywhere. Try and rest." As if that had been the permission she needed, Sophie closed her eyes and her breathing evened out until she was deeply, blissfully asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all again for the amazing love and support. Thank you is not enough. I am humbled and inspired by your enthusiasm. I'm sorry for the wait- I've been super busy and my heads been all over the place. You know how it goes. **

**Extra special thanks to Mechabeira for being you and helpful and loving and inspriring and getting ,y fingers typing again. **

**Love and best wishes to all. Leave a review on your way out? xoxoxo**

Chapter 4

_"I see a mountain, the wind is a crazy man _

_Saying no 'you can't' _

_But I know once I get up there _

_Gone, my sorrow be gone, _

_My sorrow be gone, oh away"_

_Gemma Hayes, Sorrow Be Gone_

Sophie loved to do things with Ema and Daddy. Her favorite was coloring. They hung up every picture she made on the big shiny 'frigerator, which wasn't so shiny anymore now that it was covered with all her drawings. Sophie wished she had a 'frigerator in her room to hang up all the special drawings ema and daddy made her so they would knowhow special they were to her, but instead they put them up on the walls. That was ok too, as long as it meant that she could always have them. There was even a special picture from Ema and Daddy's family that they told her said _Get Well Soon Sophie_, from when she had been so sick all she did was cuddle with ema in the big bed and sleep. There were big butterflies and colorful flowers on it and lots of names scribbled on the bottom. Sophie couldn't read and she couldn't write her name, but like ema said, she was _working on it_. It was hard to be so bad at things that lots of other kids could do and sometimes that made her really sad and really anxious, but ema always cuddled her like a baby and whispered sweet things in her ear when that happened. She knew she was good at drawing, and maybe that would be enough until she could be done _working on it._

But to get better she had to keep practicing so that meant some days Ema took her to a small classroom with some really nice teachers and other quiet kids where they learned their letters and tried to write their names. Sophie didn't like it when ema and daddy had to drop her off, but Ema was always there to pick her up in time for lunch. Ms. Anna was Sophie's favorite teacher because she didn't get mad if Sophie got anxious. They would go for a walk and sometimes they'd read a story until she felt a little better. Even though she didn't like that ema and Daddy had to leave her there, she was also glad that now she knew her ABC's. Ema and Daddy were so proud when she got brave enough to sing them for them one day.

Sophie looked up from her puzzle to see ema smiling and waving at her from the doorway. It was pick up time. She smiled back at ema and tugged Ms. Anna's sleeve. It was soft.

"What's up, Soph? Oh, you're moms here. Let me get your work so you can show her what you did today." Ms. Anna handed Sophie her paper and walked her to the door. Ema was crouched down with her arms outstretched, asking for a hug. Sophie dove in, and felt her heart beat get calmer.

"How was your day, _shaifeleh_?" She asked, kissing Sophie's cheek. "I missed you very much." She saw the paper and smiled at it. "What is that, baby?"

Sophie looked up at Ms. Anna so maybe she would explain for her, but she shook her head. Sophie had to do that. That was another thing they worked on at school- talking. She took a deep breath.

"I learned how to write my name today." She whispered. "See?" Sophie waited for ema to yell, but instead her face lit up and tugged Sophie down into her lap so they could look at the paper together.

"Look at this! I am so proud of you, sweet girl! Your letters are so beautiful! You are so smart and talented, _motek_." Sophie blushed as ema gave her kisses. She wasn't smart, not really.

"I cannot wait to show your daddy this. He is going to be so proud. You have come a long way, _shaifeleh_. Are you proud of yourself?"  
Sophie shrugged and turned her face into ema's coat. Ema made her look into her kind eyes. "You should be very proud of yourself, baby. You are learning so much so fast. Yesterday you could not write your name, and now you can. That is something very special, and you should be proud of yourself for all your hard work."

Sophie looked down at the ground. Maybe she was a little proud.

Ema picked her up and gave her a squeeze. "Let's go get some ice cream to celebrate."

…

Ziva watched as Tony set up the Skype session, leaning one long arm over Sophie's head to click around the computer monitor until the call was started and a small, red headed teenager appeared on the screen. She was pretty, Ziva observed. Her freckles seemed to enhance her big brown eyes. Her face lit up when she saw Sophie, but Ziva could see beyond that. Those sad eyes were mature beyond their years, had seen things not many people cared to imagine. That could have been Sophie one day if she hadn't come into their care.

"Marcy!" Sophie crowed happily. She reached out and touched the screen.

"Hey Soph," Marcy replied, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." Sophie paused and cocked her head. "Do you have a new house?"

Marcy nodded. "Yeah, I live in New York now."

"Is New York far?" Sophie puzzled.

Marcy shook her head. "Not too far, but not too close either."

"I will visit you because I miss you and we will have a fun time," Sophie declared.

Marcy gave a watery smile and swiped at her eyes with her hands. "Maybe one day," she conceded. "I have to go now, Soph, but I'm really glad you're happy. I love you." Marcy was struggling to keep her composure.

"Love you too. Be good." Sophie said, her voice growing softer. "Be ok. Don't get hurt, Marcy."

"Don't worry about me," Marcy said softly, and with that, the screen went blank. Sophie lifted a small, grubby finger to the monitor where Marcy had been just moments ago.

Ziva wiped at her eyes and turned to see that Tony was blinking hard, eyes red.

They waited a minute before Ziva came up behind Sophie and put her arms around her. Sophie flinched and stuck her thumb in her mouth. "She seems like a very good friend, _shaifeleh._ I see now why you miss her so much."

Sophie just blinked at them, gaze empty. She didn't look particularly upset, or anxious. It was as if she had only then realized where she had been, and where she was now. It was over for her, but not for Marcy. Did she detect some guilt in her daughter's fine features?

"It is not easy to miss someone we love," Ziva began, tucking a lock of hair behind Sophie's ear. "But that is the way it is sometimes. Are you glad you spoke to her?"

Sophie nodded sadly. "There are mean people." She whimpered, and began to chew on her bottom lip. "I don't want them to get Marcy. I don't want them to get me."

Ziva pulled her in for a hug and pressed her head to her shoulder. "You are safe, my baby. There is nothing to worry about. No mean people will ever hurt you again. And I promise you Marcy is safe too. Everything is okay now." The last part felt a bit like a lie, but she bit back guilt and held her baby. Tony came over and rubbed Sophie's head. "Why don't we read some books, kiddo? I know I've been dying to crack open _Pinkalicious." _

Sophie nodded, but still clung to Ziva. It was looking like she wouldn't be able to put he down until bedtime. That was ok, though. She liked Sophie's warm weight in her lap. It felt right, like her world was finally righting itself on its axis.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the wait. Thank you all. I am so lucky to have readers like you. **

**Love to all. Review on your way out and I'll give you a cookie. Xoxo**

Chapter 5

"_Not sure all these people understand. _

_It's not like years ago. _

_The fear of getting caught, _

_Of recklessness and water."_

_R.E.M., Nightswimming. _

Ema and Daddy were doing important grown up things all day today, which meant they had to leave Sophie with Gibbs at his house. She didn't want them to leave- she held onto Daddy's leg until he asked her to be brave and promised that he'd come back.

"Can't get rid of me that easily, kiddo." He'd joked, and then he and Ema had gotten in the blue car and driven away. Sophie tried not to get upset and breathed deep breaths like Dr. Stein and Ema has taught her.

"Want to see my boat?" Gibbs offered, and Sophie shrugged.

She followed him down a creaky flight of stairs and into a cold, dark room. There was a big arch in the middle of it- it kind of looked like the whale from her storybook. Sophie pointed at it, a little confused.

"That's the skeleton of the boat," Gibbs explained, placing a hand on it. I have to keep putting the pieces of wood together until one day it's big and strong enough to go on the water. Want to help?"

He offered her a piece of rough paper. Sophie turned it over in her hands. How would this help the boat get strong?

"That's sandpaper- it helps keep the boat smooth so that one day it can sail. Rub it up and down the wood like this." He demonstrated, and Sophie timidly copied him. She liked the sound it made.

"Good." Gibbs praised, and got to sawing a piece of wood in half.

Sophie helped until her arms got tired. She sat down and looked at her lap. She was tired and hungry, but did not want to ask for something. Gibbs seemed good, but maybe he didn't want to be interrupted from making his boat big and strong.

But before she could decide whether she was brave enough to ask, Gibbs looked at his watch and smiled a little at her. "Hungry, kiddo?" He asked, putting down his tools.

Sophie nodded and followed him back up those creaky steps into his kitchen. He took out bread and peanut butter and strawberry jelly- her favorite, and started making a sandwich for each of them. He cut off the crust without her having to ask and got her a plate and a glass of apple juice. How did Gibbs know all the things she liked without having to ask her? Was he a wizard? Could he read minds?

Gibbs ate his sandwich quicker than Ema would have but slower than Daddy. Daddy's food was always gone from his plate faster than Sophie could eat her first bite. Ema called him a vacuum, and daddy would laugh and smile. She liked when daddy and Ema smiled. In her old houses there hadn't been a lot of smiling.

"How'd I do?" Gibbs asked when she finished all four triangles.

"Good," finally whispered, heart pounding.

"I'm glad," Gibbs replied, and cleared Sophie's plate. He looked at his watch again. "We have another couple of hours before mom and dad come back. Is there anything you want to do?"

What Sophie really wanted to do was play with clay with Ema like they had yesterday, but that was all the way at her house. She looked up to see Gibbs looking through her pink backpack. What was he looking for? Was he going to take her toys away?

"I think I'll color." He said, taking out the coloring book and markers Ema had packed. He sat down on the floor and opened the book to a picture of a princess who was stuck in her castle. He took out a green marker and started coloring the grass. Sophie wanted the princesses dress to be pink, so she sat down next to him and got to work .

...

Sophie was fast asleep on Gibbs' couch when Tony and Ziva opened the door. Gibbs was in the recliner, pretending to read the newspaper while he watched his granddaughter sleep.

"How was she?" Tony asked as Ziva lifted her into her arms. Sophie grumbled and then fell back into a hard sleep on her mother's shoulder.

"Good. We worked on the boat and colored. She fell asleep an hour ago."

"Thanks, Boss," Tony said sincerely, and patted his shoulder.

"How was the lawyer?" Gibbs asked, taking off his glasses. They were old and smudged.

"Good. We filed to adopt, and we should go before a judge to make it official in a few months." Ziva informed him, feeling important. Useful.

Gibbs smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time. "Congratulations."

…

Ziva watched curiously as Dr. Stein and Sophie colored together at the small, plastic play table. The doctor was coloring absentmindedly with a blue crayon, but she was focused on Sophie. They needed to use more creative methods to figure out what was going on with her because Sophie still was not comfortable speaking much more than _yes_ or _no_ or _thanks_.

Dr. Stein craned her neck to get a closer look at her picture. "What are you drawing?" she asked calmly, smoothly.

Sophie shrugged and looked away. Ziva could see a little purple blob in the middle of lots of black, angry lines.

"It kind of looks like a baby," Dr. Stein mused. "Is it?"

Sophie nodded, and pointed a grubby finger at the door. Her face was drawn and tight. She was scared.

"Not just yet, Soph. Lets talk about the picture first. Why is the baby all by itself?"

"Bad," she whispered, so quiet Ziva couldn't be sure it actually happened.

Dr. Stein didn't miss a beat. "Bad? How was the baby bad?"

Sophie shrugged again and looked at her lap. "Jus' is."

"Okay." She said slowly, nodding. "Sophie, were you ever left you all by yourself because someone said you were bad?" Sophie looked up with wild, crazed eyes. She didn't have to answer- her stricken expression told the whole story. "Sophie, you know that it's wrong for grownups to treat children like that. It was a bad thing for someone to do that to you."

Sophie did not respond. She was a statue, muscles rigid.

"Sophie, were you alone for a long time? In the dark?" Dr. Stein prodded.

She stuck out her bottom lip in an effort not to cry and nodded.

Ziva clenched her fist and realized why she liked to sleep with the lights on and the door open. "I'm sorry that happened to you. Mr. Parker was wrong to treat you that way."

Sophie didn't respond, just stuck her thumb in her mouth and laid her head down on the table. She was done.

Dr. Stein placed a light, comforting hand on her back and motioned for Ziva to come over. She pushed her daughters hair back and picked her up. Sophie held on tight around her neck, a little bird afraid to fall out of its nest during a storm.

"We made good progress today," the doctor acknowledged, patting Sophie's shoulder. "She hasn't revealed much about her life in foster care yet, so this is a good start. She'll probably be clingier today as she comes to terms with the things we brought up. Let her. One of the most important parts of this whole process is that she learns you love her unconditionally. Let her be a baby like she wasn't allowed to be before. Let her know she's safe and loved."

Ziva nodded and thanked the doctor. She shifted Sophie higher on her hip and kissed her forehead. "My sweet, sweet girl," she murmured. "My baby."

...

Ziva swayed with Sophie in her arms. She hadn't been able to put her down since the session with Dr. Stein. "Shaifeleh?" she cooed, brushing Sophie's hair back. "Would you like to go down for a nap? You look very tired."

Sophie shook her head and held on tighter. Her big green eyes were wide and wet, and she blinked back big tears behind her glasses.

"Are you sad, _n'sicha_?" she asked, clucking her tongue.

Sophie sort of shrugged and averted her eyes.

"I am sorry you are sad, baby girl. Does me holding you make you feel better?" Sophie nodded, and Ziva kissed her head. "Then I will hold you as long as you need. Maybe Daddy can hold you when he gets home from work so I can make us dinner," she mused, but Sophie had closed her eyes and snuggled her head in the crook of Ziva's neck. She sighed deeply, her breath tickling her skin, and drifted off.

Ziva couldn't bear to put her down, so she sat down on the couch laid her across her chest and absentmindedly stroked her curls. She picked up a magazine. She should think about dinner, but they had time. Sophie shifted in her sleep and moved her thumb to her mouth before settling in again. Ziva smiled and rubbed her hair. Exhaustion was pulling at her eyelids, and Sophie was a warm weight on her lap that pulled her into a deep sleep alongside her daughter.

...

"Look who it is!" Tony crowed as he barreled through the door, arms wide open. Sophie smiled shyly at him from where her head lay on Ziva's shoulder. She reached for him and he obliged, smiling as she cuddled against him.

"She's already eaten," Ziva explained as he took in her sticky hands and the dried crumbs of sweet potato around her lips. "Could you give her a bath while I finish our dinner?"

"Sure!" He agreed, and kissed Ziva's cheek before bounding up the stairs.

"Ready for a bubble bath, kiddo?" He asked, reaching for the hem of her purple dress.

Sophie jumped, eyes wide. She pulled her knees to her chest and looked through him, eyes wide. Her breathing was fast and ragged.

"Baby?" He asked quietly, and reached for her, his heart beating fast and hard in his chest. "You okay?"

She shrieked and scooted away further, and began to rock back and forth.

"Stoooop" she cried, voice high and thin.

"Ziva!" He yelled down the steps, swallowing hard.

She bounded up the steps, wiping her hands on her jeans. "What-" she began, but stopped when she saw her daughter. She knelt beside her and reached out a tentative hand to smooth out her hair. "Shaifeleh? Shaifeleh, it is your ema. Can you look at me and take a deep breath?"

Sophie shuddered and shook her head, trembling. Ziva touched her arm and she squeaked, high pitched and terrified. She bucked and vomited her dinner onto the hardwood floor. Her face was all misery and fear and confusion.

"My baby." Ziva whispered, placing both hands on Sophie's cheeks and forcing her gaze upwards. "It is your ema, and you are safe in your room." She cooed. Sophie seemed to notice her for the first time and leaned against Ziva, sobbing. Ziva pulled her into her lap with wet eyes.

Tony was already cleaning up the vomit, shoulders tense and face stricken. Ziva stood up and took Sophie with her into their room, where she laid down with her daughter sniffling against her chest. "Ema's here," she whispered again and again against her hair. "Ema's here."

...

Ziva sighed heavily and carefully extracted herself from Sophie's grip. The digital alarm clock read 12:09, but Tony was nowhere to be found. Her head fuzzy with sleep, she padded down the steps to the living room where she found him, head in his hands, shoulders shaking. The television was turned to ZNN on mute.

She came around next to him and put her arms around him. "It wasn't your fault." She assuaged, immediately recognizing his guilt. She could damn near smell it on him.

"Yes it was," he rumbled, sniffling. "I tried to give her a bath and I sent her into some crazy panic attack. I did that."

Ziva shook her head and forced him to look at her like she had done to Sophie only a few hours earlier. "No." She whispered. "You did not do anything wrong. Sophie had a tough session with Dr. Stein this morning, and I was unable to put her down after. She was probably still processing what came up, and you taking off her dress must have triggered something." Tony opened his mouth to speak, but she shushed him. "I should have recognized that it wasn't the best idea, but you are not to blame. The people who hurt her- our baby- before she came to us are to blame."

Tony hung his head, unsatisfied. "She hates me." He mourned.

"No, she does not." Ziva disagreed sharply. "She loves you. She asks about you all day when you are at work, and her face lit up for the first time in hours when you walked through the door tonight. Just before she fell asleep in our bed earlier she asked where you were. She loves you." Ziva re-emphasized. "Sophie is a little girl who has obviously known nothing but violence and neglect until she came into our lives, and it is very difficult to heal those scars."

Tony wasn't convinced, she could tell. Ziva mustered her courage and spoke again. "Do you remember what happened in Paris when I first... came back?" Tony frowned, interested. "Things were getting... intimate, and that triggered something in me. I panicked. I was back in Somalia..." She took a deep, shaky breath and shook her head to clear it of the darkness that threatened.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He groused. "You cried and screamed like a baby for an hour afterwards. Are you trying to remind me that this isn't the first time I've done this to the people I love?"

"Of course not," she whispered. "But after all of that, I was still madly in love with you. I still married you. We-I came to a point within myself when I was ready to hand that part of myself to you. What I'm trying to say is that Sophie still loves you, and one day, she'll find the strength to just let go and be your daughter."

Tony nodded, feeling a little lighter. He pulled Ziva against him and buried his face in her hair. "I don't want to mess this up," he admitted.

"You won't," Ziva assured him. "I won't let you."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry again, for making you amazing people wait. Midterms, yuck. Special thanks again to Mechabeira. I love your guys feedback- keep it coming! Love to all. **

Chapter 6

_"Maybe they're just pieces of me you've never seen."_

_-Tori Amos, "Tear In Your Hand."_

Ziva smiled down at her daughter. Sophie gulped milk from a blue sippy cup, breathing heavily through her nose. She sounded like a baby. Ziva hoped her arms were warm and safe as Sophie locked her eyes with hers and quirked a half smile before pushing the cup away, indicating she was done.

"All finished, _shaifeleh_?" She cooed, wiping away a drop of milk from the crease between her lips.

Sophie didn't respond and stuck her thumb in her mouth and fell into a hard sleep. Tony came up behind her and kissed her earlobe, sending chills down her spine. She hadn't heard him come in.

"How's my baby?" He asked, curling up next to Ziva on the couch. He reached over and lovingly brushed hair out of Sophie's eyes.

"Okay, I suppose." Ziva whispered, not wanting to wake her. She deserved an hour or so of good sleep in her mother's arms. Their night had been anything but restful. "I think this is the regressive period the doctors mentioned. She is acting like a baby. It is-"

"Good for her." Tony reiterated. "I've been doing lots of research that supports Soph acting like this. She's learning that we'll love and care for her and meet her every need in a place where she can kinda… block out everything that's happened to her."

Ziva smiled a little. She was proud of Tony and the father he was becoming. Hearing him speak with such confidence and factual evidence made her feel calm and sure. Sure that this had been the right decision, that Sophie would be ok, that they'd _all_ be ok.

Sophie sighed in her sleep and grabbed a handful of Ziva's sweater. Tony cleared his throat. "I have Sophie's original documents. I had Abby do some digging today- by the way, she's stoked for the barbeque this weekend- everyone is. They're all coming with tons of gifts."

Ziva nodded, not really hearing him as she reached for the fat file in his lap. She opened it and held it so they could both read. The evening grew darker, but they read on. There was a picture of Sophie at birth- tiny and red and innocent as she looked right at the camera with her big brown eyes.

"So beautiful." Ziva commented and put it aside. She wanted to frame it.

The next picture was of her birthmother, Rachel. It was a mug shot, where she eyed the camera fiercely, eyes dangerous. Her eyes were bloodshot and her was makeup smudged. She had Sophie's narrow, thin features.

"She was arrested for prostitution and possession that night- that's when Sophie was taken into care. Rachel relinquished her parental rights after the arrest." He explained carefully. "Her sentence was three years, but she'll probably be out within the year for good behavior. Their neighbor gave a statement to LEO's after the arrest- I have the transcript in here somewhere…" He thumbed through the papers until he found what he was looking for.

_Angela Gonzalez: Yeah, I know Rachel Levy and her daughter. I watch her sometimes when mom goes out, you know? She's cold towards the kid- never offering hugs or nothin'. She never seemed to really pay attention to Sophie- always leaving her alone during the day, ignorin her when she ask for something. She yelled a lot too- always said Sophie was a handful, but whenever I watched her she just sat there and colored. Real sweet kid- never gave me any trouble. And an appetite- she ate like a starving person whenever she was over here. Never saw mom come in with groceries, just men. Lots of 'em. Its not my place to judge, but it was weird. Yeah, there was something off about Rachel. The way she treated Sophie never really sat right with me, but, like I said, it's not my place to judge._

Ziva grumbled a little. Domestic and familial abuse were the only crimes that others seemed to turn blind eyes to. She pushed aside her anger and moved on to referral forms and medical charts. Broken bones, burns, a concussion. Her face grew warm and her stomach flipped as she read about the signs of sexual assault recorded after her last foster placement before Sophie had gone to the group home they'd gotten her from.  
"How could her mother have just…abandoned her? " She whispered, voice tight. Tony grimaced. He knew where this was coming from. They had tried, ineffectually, for years, to get pregnant naturally. All the infertility clinic had given them was a second mortgage and three miscarriages. All Ziva wanted was to be a mother. Sure, Tony wanted to be a father-he wanted it _badly_, but her need was somehow deeper than his. The thought that someone would carelessly throw away a child, the thing she wanted the most in the world, was beyond her.

"I don't know, Zi. And I sure as hell wish Sophie had never been subjected to everything that she has been, but… but maybe that abandonment and our infertility happened so one day we could find each other."

Ziva frowned, her forehead creasing. Tony thought she looked adorable that way.

"Perhaps." She acquiesced, smoothing Sophie's hair with the palm of her hand. "Perhaps".

…

Sophie looked around from where she sat on a picnic blanket with Ema. There were lots of people who were Ema and Daddy's family, which meant they were her family now too. That was weird- Sophie never had a real family before. First she had Rachel, and then she had no one, and then she got Ema and Daddy and now she got to keep Ema and Daddy and have other people too. That was nice, she decided, because they were nice. They came to her house with lots of presents, even though it wasn't her birthday. All the people were making her nervous, but for now it was okay because she got to play with her new chalk and color on the patio with Ema and a nice lady named Abby. But then Ema got up because she had to help Daddy with the food and then Sophie was all alone with these strangers who kept looking at her and talking to her and asking her questions. Their voices got too loud and it got hard to see and suddenly Sophie didn't care about her presents anymore- all she wanted was quiet time with her parents. She looked around and still couldn't find them. Maybe they'd left and forgotten her. Maybe they were never coming back and were leaving her with these strangers. She started to cry because she didn't want to live with anyone but Ema and Daddy and then big, strong Gibbs was picking her up and taking her into the house away from all the noise and the people and before she knew it there was Daddy, who hugged her tight and let her rest her head on his shoulder. Ema came over with a sippy cup of juice and rubbed her back until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore and just hung onto Daddy's shirt.

"Might've overestimated what she was ready for, DiNozzo," Gibbs commented, taking a long drink from his beer. "She was pretty overwhelmed out there."

Tony nodded thoughtfully and kissed the top of Sophie's dark head. She was fast asleep on his shirt., fingers curled around his collar "Yeah, I guess. I just… I wanted it to be normal, you know? This is an exciting thing Zi and I have done. We didn't have a kid and now we do and we haven't gotten to celebrate and that feels unfair to everyone. I thought that… that she'd be okay."

Gibbs was silent for a while. "She's brand new, DiNozzo. You can't rush everything."

Tony frowned. "She'd four, Boss."

Gibbs shrugged. "New to you, DiNozzo. You have to learn to treat her that way."

…..

Ziva stared hard another picture of Rachel from Sophie's file that she and Tony had missed the first time around. In it, she was young- the date on the back indicated she had been a junior in high school. She held a cigarette in one hand, flicking the ashes onto the pavement, and carried schoolbooks on her slim hip. They had titles like _Modern European History _and_Advanced Chemistry. _Her gaze was as hard and threatening as it had been in her arrest photo, but she still smiled a little at the camera. Ziva wondered what had happened to make her so angry with the world- it looked to be more than classic teenage angst.

Tony wandered into the living room with Sophie on his hip. She was bathed and dressed for sleep in her princess pajamas. Her damp hair smelled like strawberries.

"Hey baby? Your ema and I have some things to show you." He said, and plopped her on the couch so she was in between them. A Sophie sandwich.

Ziva held out her birth photo to her daughter. "This is you when you were just born, shaifeleh. You were very little but very beautiful and strong."

Sophie frowned and looked hard at it, as if she couldn't quite believe it was her. "Why am I crying?" She finally asked.

Tony grinned. "All babies cry when they're just born, sweetie. They've been nice and warm in their moms bellies for so long that they don't want to leave."

Sophie seemed to accept this. They moved on.

"We also have a picture of your mother, Rachel." Ziva said kindly, trying to gauge her daughters reaction. She handed her the photo and Sophie examined it closely for a long time, like she was trying to decipher some kind of secret code hidden inside it.

"She's gone." Sophie announced softly. "Jail."

Tony rubbed her arm. "How does that make you feel, kiddo?" They were making progress with her speech, and Sophie seemed more comfortable speaking to them when they were at home every day, but she had a hard time expressing her emotions with words. She often threw tantrums when she was tired or upset.

Sophie sniffled, and they braced themselves, but to their surprise, she stayed dry eyed and serious. " It's sad sometimes but okay because I get you. I want to stay here."

They resisted the urge to high five one another and instead pulled her close and kissed her. "You will, baby. We love you so much." The shadows got longer.

"It is time for you to go to bed, shaifeleh." Ziva declared, rubbing her daughters head.

Sophie frowned and narrowed her eyes. "No, not tired." She harrumphed. Rachel's picture was still clutched in her hand. Perhaps they were headed for a meltdown after all.

"Yes, you are, and it is past your bedtime. Daddy and I will read you a story-"

"Noooooo!" Sophie shrieked before Ziva could finish, stretching out the word. She kicked her little feet against the coffee table.

"Yep, someone's definitely tired." Tony deadpanned, and bent to pick her up. Sophie kicked his hands away and cried, shaking her head from side to side. "No bed!" She cried.

"Sweetheart? I know you are very tired and cranky and did not mean to hurt Daddy, but we use our words, not our bodies to say what we want." Ziva pressed. "It is time for us to kiss you goodnight."

Sophie only cried harder, but allowed Tony to pick her up. "I'm-not- tired," she hiccupped, even as she put her head down on Tony's shoulder and closed her red, puffy eyes.


End file.
